Artificial Glass Eyes Heavyweight Zip Hoodie

This beautiful 1880s logo work advertises A.L. Ellis & Co., the Pawtucket, Rhode Island importers of artificial glass eyes for taxidermists, jewelers, and presumably people who were missing eyes.

In the early 1900s, glass eyes were a booming business and the finest among them were handmade in Germany. American importers faced a hefty 60% import duty, however, so a grifter named Bruno Schulze made the smuggling of glass eyes his specialty for over a decade. He's estimated to have smuggled about 100,000 eyes and raked in profits that would amount to about $21.6 million in today's dollars.

Why are we telling you this story? Because when he was arrested a local newspaper published a story which protested, "But He's Handsome and Distinguished Looking"! Just like you'll be in this t-shirt.

If you're not into glass eyes yourself, this is a terrific gift for prosthetists, ocularists, taxidermists, fans of medical history, oddities collectors, and people who just really love Pawtucket, Rhode Island.

This heavyweight zip-up hoodie is made with a very fancy low-pill, high-density cotton-poly fleece, for outstanding warmth and comfort. The cuffs and waistband are a stretchy spandex-blend and it's possible that ancient incantations were spoken over them during manufacturing, but we truly can't say for sure. It has split-pouch pockets, which is handy for when you need to stuff two deadly snakes into your pockets but they don't get along, and a covered zipper for keeping out the chill, obviously. The hood is jersey-lined and offers great sun protection, not that any of you are vampires, haha, that would be super silly, but also if you have bat minions they could probably hang inside your hoodie like a little cave.